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Airplanes, Rocketry, Missiles, Spacecraft and things that go WHOOSH! in the night.
What's flying around my head at the current time.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Top Gun Disease 

Did you know that June is National NAS Awareness Month? NAS, or Naval Aviator Syndrome is a tragic disease afflicting many former Navy Airmen, and not a few civilians who have watched "Top Gun" a few too many time.
Please post these danger signs on your influential and respected website.

We're NASSTY (Naval Aviator Syndrome Society)™, and we can help.

Top Ten Signs your loved one is afflicted by Naval Aviator Syndrome

1. Always rides with one passenger. Passenger must sit in back seat behind driver and navigate. Passenger must answer to name "Goose".

2. To depart house, parks car at end of driveway, applies brakes, revs engine to redline rpm, salutes smartly and pops clutch.

3. Welds pipe to front fender and connects it to gas tank. When the low fuel light comes on, announces "bingo fuel" and attempts to dock with a gasoline tanker on the freeway for "in-flight refueling".

4. Paints crosshairs on windshield. Whenever a Yugo is aligned in the crosshairs, will depress 4-way flasher button and yell "Fox one!"

5. Feels uncomfortable unless accompanied on freeway by "wingman" who must drive one lane to the right, three cars back.

6. In case of engine trouble, will shout "Eject! Eject! Eject!", pull the hood release handle and depart the vehicle through the sunroof.

7. Equips car with radar detector. When it goes off, throws tinfoil out the window and conducts "evasive maneuvers".

8. When gassing up, requests attendant supply "0.12 thousand pounds of fuel".

9. Purchases house with circular driveway. Enters driveway at 40mph. In the event the car is not perfectly aligned, shouts "Bolter! Bolter!" and accelerates out of the driveway at full speed.

10. Spends one day a week on the garage roof grading other drivers on their "landings" in the driveway.

Luckily, I don't suffer from this, and besides I can quit at any time.

Hat tip: Ronin
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